Tunnel.

 I walk out

And it pulls me back.

I walk out

And it pulls me back.

The pain within comes out

Like black fluid fills my veins

Confusing feelings, destroying gains.

Thoughts go back to negatives.

I fear what ifs, everything is like a wall,

Huge border around me, suffocating crowds in mall.

I'm on my knees and I can't breathe.

And you won't help me, nothing will.

I'm ruled and I'll be killed -

By my own thought. I'm still -

Like waters in the sea -

Deep down the black depths feed on me

Of my own sharks. Relational ptsd.

Trip.

It feels so free and so crazy.
It gives me life,
When it's not there

And when I look into my eyes,
In the mirror,
All I see is nobody there at
To stare

Before my consciousness left,
Eyes tried to see,
What I wanted so much there to be

What I lacked and what I missed,
Those things,
That weren't in the life for me

What else could do the favor to,
Make me forget the problems,
Leave me with no clue

Drugs, alcohol.
Pills, razors, glue.
What did I see, what's in my soul.
What captured me that through

Was it the need for living feeling?
Was it the need for some more time?
Or was it someone I was lacking,
Forever to be only mine?

What's life for others,
Were the drugs for me.
All that had sounded in my head:
I never was. I never am. And I will never be.

And sun will capture me in head,
Hallucinating, pretending to be dead

But who was there to be with me?
When I was lost. But truly free.

Was that the happiness to be?
Was that what I should do, it's me?
And every question in my head,
Had answer -

Baby,
You are dead.

(Made approximately in May 2017., posted first in June 7, 2017 on facebook, but never got here. It has a deep meaning and theme - drugs&alcoholism. Let me get this straight - I have never used drugs myself or had problems with alcohol, but my empathy and my experience seeing close people like that is the thing that leads to this movement against drug using. This photoset is basically portraying in slightly different way the thoughts of a person who used drugs. And the lethal outcome.
The most important message to learn is - you are important and you are unique to Earth and to yourself. Stay alive.)
...
Photographer: Dezembers Photography (facebook)
Model&edit: me.