Masks.

I hope you take it off,

In morning dust, in sunset red,

Before you leave and go to bed,

I hope you take it off and look

With every word out of that book -

And scratch out that thread, that page, dissection,

Do I suffer to blind affection...

We all take them off and look in the mirror to see

That there's something incredibly monstrous to be.

The masks of perfection.

I stomp the appeal and cut the correction.

In beautiful masks lies our ugliest infection.

You know, it hurts

Fuck you, with words

The fuck are you doing

Putting words in my mouth

If you wanted me to be away -

Then should have said so,

Not wasting my day

And my heart

Decay.

Tunnel.

 I walk out

And it pulls me back.

I walk out

And it pulls me back.

The pain within comes out

Like black fluid fills my veins

Confusing feelings, destroying gains.

Thoughts go back to negatives.

I fear what ifs, everything is like a wall,

Huge border around me, suffocating crowds in mall.

I'm on my knees and I can't breathe.

And you won't help me, nothing will.

I'm ruled and I'll be killed -

By my own thought. I'm still -

Like waters in the sea -

Deep down the black depths feed on me

Of my own sharks. Relational ptsd.

I want to paint my room fucking red.

I hate everything that does with feelings,

I hate everything that makes me cry.

I hate everything that gives me hope and reason,

And everything that makes me wanna die.

I hate all these things I'm feeling - 

And those that I don't understand.

For when I was stupidly thinking,

About clueless fucking you,

Instead of going to bed.

I want to paint my room fucking red.

To X

There is no hope,

There is no light.

Turn your back

And fucking fight.

Apathy.

The clock ticks and I sit in the room,

I await no emotion, there's nothing but loneliness - a doom.

The candle crackles and I read no signs.

Only me and the floor. The apathy.

Our framework aligns.

And intertype makes me sick,

And clock just keeps his "tick, tick, tick".

There's nothing in the world that could cure this hole.

I'm fucking empty. And I am whole.

Become as gods.

Become as gods,

As Artemis and Apollo,

I run through the moonlight and spare my hunt,

I take my price, for what's true I'm blunt.

And with flowers gathered, I shoot from my bow,

I know your heart that I'll throw in the snow,

Because I'm avoidant of your godly light,

My moonlight shines for me enough bright.

Individualist - am, but the care in my heart,

Will tear me and you, Apollo - apart.

My twin, I can't lie - I hate the way you made my love die,

But for what it takes, I continue to bind my tie

To run through the woods like a wildfire,

Like the Moon to your Sun, I burn and I cry,

In embraces you take me and spare me my faith,

While you used my trust arrow like a low bait.

And sometimes, Apollo - I sit and I cry,

But only within I can shed my tears. 

On the picture, like fury of storm - I will fly.

The thunder won't touch me.

Because we both know -

Only your godly Sun can make me die.