On what's hidden.

Morning, 10 o'clock, And I'm in my own block, Of self-regret alone in thoughts, Spilling coffee in a cup, Adding two of sugar spoons, Maybe I'll feel better by the afternoons, But right now I am in the thoughts, A division of myself - From the other people And my own shelf. That I hide and never really show. And all this keeps within - And I'm thinking how to deal with it - And where my thought process should go. So much to oneself, so closed. What are other people, when all they did - Was - they opposed. Rarely showing deepest thoughts, Having constant trust-based doubts. I'm not a people person, never was. An introvert with feelings stuck within. I am appearing with a smile, polite... But inner hidden side is hurt and grim. And sometimes, trying to find new people, On the internet, because I rarely go somewhere, I'm throwing myself in, Trying a conversation, Regretting a detail within Every important sensation. In many talks, it comes to regret. "You are too critical, Too confrontational". When I think I'm the one, Who made me like that, When my therapist actually says - "You're too polite, too reserved, You need to learn to express your emotions away, Your self-control is too much, but sensational! Have you actually thought, That it was not you, Who made yourself feel that regret To think that you're rude? Have you actually thought, That the people you've dealt with, They made you to think that, Because that was their view, On things how you said it. To project from one's side, So much people do, Whatever you say - "That must be rude, so impolite!" And that is not true. You are not aggressive and you don't seem rude." And that's how it goes in life. Listen more to immaturity, And you can forget - once and for all, About the realness of you. And your self-image purity.