To X

There is no hope,

There is no light.

Turn your back

And fucking fight.

Apathy.

The clock ticks and I sit in the room,

I await no emotion, there's nothing but loneliness - a doom.

The candle crackles and I read no signs.

Only me and the floor. The apathy.

Our framework aligns.

And intertype makes me sick,

And clock just keeps his "tick, tick, tick".

There's nothing in the world that could cure this hole.

I'm fucking empty. And I am whole.

Become as gods.

Become as gods,

As Artemis and Apollo,

I run through the moonlight and spare my hunt,

I take my price, for what's true I'm blunt.

And with flowers gathered, I shoot from my bow,

I know your heart that I'll throw in the snow,

Because I'm avoidant of your godly light,

My moonlight shines for me enough bright.

Individualist - am, but the care in my heart,

Will tear me and you, Apollo - apart.

My twin, I can't lie - I hate the way you made my love die,

But for what it takes, I continue to bind my tie

To run through the woods like a wildfire,

Like the Moon to your Sun, I burn and I cry,

In embraces you take me and spare me my faith,

While you used my trust arrow like a low bait.

And sometimes, Apollo - I sit and I cry,

But only within I can shed my tears. 

On the picture, like fury of storm - I will fly.

The thunder won't touch me.

Because we both know -

Only your godly Sun can make me die.

Self-love and hedonism.

In these tougher times, let's talk about mindfulness a bit and self-physicality and spirituality.

This time, about a more so taboo topic.

Masturbation is a taboo topic, while it shouldn't be, especially during such times we live in right now. Let's talk about its aspects connected to spiritual being.

It can help as an act of self-acceptance, acceptance of your own body through self-love, becoming more aware and grounded. The lower part is our Root chakra, so it can be a process of release of negativity, of negative emotions and feeling of tightness. When we touch ourselves, we become aware of our physical body and we can use it in a tantric way of self-love and acceptance. It is a mindful process of a release of tension.

The other aspect why it is good is because it is sex, but not with someone else - with yourself. Often it is difficult to connect with other being on an emotional level and chaotic sex which is cultivated in our social world brings us more either visible or hidden traumatic experiences - that leaves a shade on our deeper being, on our subconscious level of spiritual growth and cleanliness of our aura. By chaotic sex we don't only affect each other by treating one another as pieces of meat, we also affect the non-visible - the metaphysical being of self - that is our inner shape, the non-visible connection to this world. If there is no emotional connection to another being, that leads to an experience that leaves a void in oneself, that grows bigger in time with how many of acts we have performed this way.

Self-love, however does not harm the other being by making chaotic choices. Human can be an impulsive being, but we have to concentrate on the aspect of social growth and how one can affect another like dominoes and leave the negative veil of aura with the others.

Self-love is also an act of emotional hygiene, which is incredibly important - to recognize not only one's aspect of desire and physical pleasure, but as already mentioned - emotional release and acknowledgement of oneself as a human being connected to biological processes and natural wishes. It's an acknowledgment of sexuality and releasing this side aka balancing it with keeping it non-volatile.

This aspect is important in giving oneself the warmth, receiving the touch - we receive it either from someone else or oneself. It also brings heat to the heart chakra and clears our minds through releasing toxins in our brain - that connects to Crown chakra and a bit to Third eye chakra.

It's an act of self-care both to your body and your mind.

The Grove.

The birds, the runes, the wind, the tunes,

I touch the water, feel the sand in the dunes.

Out of breath I tune in, to feel the air,

I disconnect into the one, outside my lair.

Breath gives me sparkle. It grows the branches.

Sparkle becomes the fire. Ignites the touches.

I grow as a tree, a being, omnipresent.

Of knowledge, I tune out. 

My leaves are my fruit. A Sage. I share my clout.

Time.

Sometimes I just want the time to stop,

Somewhere where it was happy and everything was okay.

I'm sentimental. And I wish we never died in that golden light

I wish the good would forever stay.

I cry. And to empty skies I pray...

That today wouldn't be the lasting day.

The forest red.

 Am I too intense for you?

Too fierce, too much,

Throw of an axe, not a warm touch,

Full blown like a flame, not that of a match,

Am not quiet candle that crackles crisp,

I rather stay silent, but I am a whisp.

Do I break these thoughts that you have?

Of woman who painted is -

Of softness and friendly charm,

And my teeth - they only bring harm,

While foxes run through the woods,

Not appreciated of city's goods.

And I tackle these thoughts in a spin,

Who am I to get up and win.

I lost to all of these rules - you're all set,

Because in the end, I, the forest red,

Am commonly known as only a threat.